Shock and Love

Yesterday was a big day for me,

One of my closest friends said to me;

"Quit Yoga! "
(He was drinking and the way he said was half joke and half true.)

I was shocked, damaged, and confused by this word.

I'm thinking a lot about this word....

What did he want to say?
______________________________________

Last month, I attended a philosophical meeting that he was also there.

The member including him were talking about human relationship.
But I don't know why, I couldn't get into this conversation, couldn't say any words to them.
For me, what they were talking was not a problem.
So I could only see empty words there.

Maybe you can notice, I read U.G.'s book and did Yoga a lot at that time.
I was a kind of nihilistic, and couldn't see the value in that conversation.
____________________________________________

However, I am a person.
I can only see the world from the perspective of a person.

And at that time, there were people who talked about human relation in front of me.

In short, I had to face them.
I had to love them more.

Even if I had a great experience in yoga or meditation or anything,
I had to face and tried to relate to people in front of me.

If I really thought that there was no problem there, I had to say so and make everyone stop the search.
If I disliked them, I had to show how I felt.

That's the best way to send love to them.

What I shown them was not Love, but an opposite thing; indifference.

That's why he was mad at me.
________________________________________________

Again, what he wanted to say?

If I put it in other words,

"If you make hierarchy by doing yoga, quit yoga!"

In fact, I spend a "special" time by doing yoga every morning.

I can feel the connection with the world through my body, breath, and movements.

However, if I talk with someone, I can access to the world through him or her.
If I have a trouble, I can deeply relate to the world by thinking about it thoroughly.

There is no superior point in yoga（＝breathing and moving exercise）.

If I access to the whole world, I should start form where I am.


What he wanted to say might be;

"Look at me!"

＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿

Happiness is to have enough love for all the windows even while cherishing that special one view carved deep inside your heart.

Exactly!

I have something that I feel special love.
(How much I say "I love all", still I have something special, yoga, family, close friend....)

But at the same time, I face something right now.
That's what I should embrace most.

I will send Love to whole world, from where I am.

The Body that Makes Choices

Life is repetition of choices.

The moment we start living, we pick up some and discard the other.

The result of all choices I have made is “I”.

Whatever we do, we cannot avoid to make choices, and cannot be neutral.

“Choices” are not only social and conceptual (what jog I choose, and what kind of character I play).

Standing with two legs as a process of evolution is also human choice, and we Japanese losing the ability to distinguish “R” and “L” is choice, too. We cannot be alive without these choices literally.

Therefore, that we say something, that we take certain form (have a body that have a specific shape), and even that we exist are parts of our choices. In other words, they are removal or directivity.

Any existence cannot see the world as it is.

That we live in this world means that we categorize the world along with our own convenience, and do something based on this categorization.

I want to question here.

What have I been doing?

There is a “life” we have already begun, and there is a “self” we have been playing in a very real way.

Earlier than I do something, I began to “do human” and “do Yuto Matoba”.

My body presents the gross of what I have been doing.

Anyway, let’s move my body.

The moment I flex any parts of my body, one choice and exclusion begin,

If I pay attention to some parts, the other parts begin to exclaim.

“That’s not fare! Look at me!”

I move and breathe while listening to them.

After this exercise, I feel refreshed, relaxed and can see the world in a flat way.

However, even in this state, there is a bunch of parts that I have overlooked.

Moreover, returning to daily life and doing “Yuto Matoba”, playing a “university student”, and behaving “masculine”, and doing a “human”, I put myself huge number of bias.

After all, we can see the world only through the lens we ourselves have made.

We, such existence, always face something different.

Different culture, age, gender, species…

They categorize the world in a different way from me and live based on the world image.

That’s why it is possible to have a conflict.

I need to renew the question I made earlier:

What have I been discarding?

People, animals, plants, stuff around us, and my body...

They are always sending signals to notify us what we have forgotten.

Looking back choices I made, and being aware of them.

Only after that, I can have a possibility to relate to others who are incompatible to me.

Still, I can see the world only in a way I have categorized, but there is a beauty in the fact that while we cannot understand each other completely, we can relate .